Email can be a blessing in so many ways. I have kept in touch with family members that I normally don’t hear from for months at a time. I have become reacquainted with long lost friends. I have saved lots of money on my phone bill. And for a while it added a romantic touch to my relationship with hubby. That is until THE email.
I am not a very computer savvy person and it took a long time to admit that computers might be superior to electric typewriters. Hubby set up an email account for me and kept telling me how wonderful it was to be online. He would send me sweet little emails and love notes to show just how much fun it would be. I grew to love the internet!
I would browse for hours and send hubby little tid-bits of information or interesting links. Then I discovered cyber cards. These are great! You pick out a design, add your own wording, colors and musical selection and then send it to a friend. When the recipient opens it they will be greeted with anything from a simple one-page hello to a multi-page show of dancing bears, blooming flowers and a midi version of “Soul Man.”
One morning I let the kids pick out cards to send to each of our family members and several friends. Then I decided I would send something to hubby.
I chose a card that was about six pages long and had lots of cool sound effects. The words on each page were very small and grew bigger and bigger until they filled up the entire screen and exploded into fireworks. I set out to be romantic but then I thought it might be fun to be a little naughty.
The first page shouted the promise, “Tonight’s the night!”
Page two proclaimed that hubby was going to have all of his fantasies fulfilled.
Pages three, four and five gave explicit details of what he could expect in the evening ahead. And page six ended with the Campbell’s soup slogan…MMMM! MMMMM! GOOD!
I reviewed the card and, pleased with my creativity, I hit send. I couldn’t wait for his response.
When he got home from work that evening I was greeted with the usual peck on the lips. Not exactly what I expected considering all that I had promised him. Then he went to check his email. I decided he must not have had a chance to go online at work and was probably just now getting my card. I waited a few minutes and then casually walked into the computer room.
“So, did you get anything interesting?” I asked innocently.
“Nope,” he replied.
“Are you sure?” I grinned, thinking he was pulling my leg.
“No, I didn’t get anything but some junk mail.”
“But I sent you a card this morning!”
He shrugged casually and said, “Well, you didn’t send it to me!”
I began to panic. My naughty little card was somewhere out there in cyberspace! I tried to remember every person we had sent cards to that morning. All the aunts and uncles, the pastor’s wife, the kids’ Sunday School teachers and….suddenly I knew…..my father-in-law!
The kids had picked one out for their grandfather and that was the last one we sent before I designed hubby’s. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I could picture his surprised expression when he opened the card and saw all those fireworks and exploding words that promised a night of passion. Did I mention he is a Quaker minister?
Hubby noticed the green shade creeping over my face and asked what was wrong. So, I told him the whole story. I gave him all the details of the card and how I was sure it had been mistakenly sent to his father.
First, he gleefully asked if I was going to follow through on my promises. I could have choked him! Nothing ruins a romantic mood more than knowing that you just offered yourself up on a silver platter to your father-in-law!
Then he told me I should just call and tell his dad not to open the card. Seemed logical. I dialed the number and had the privilege of telling my mother-in-law that I just sent her husband an erotic email. I asked her to please tell him not to open it, but it was too late. She told me that he had already received the card and sent me a reply.
I hung up the phone and dashed to the computer. I was queasy with anticipation as I waited for my email to download. I opened it and read the following,
“I received your card. Have you been drinking? Thought you should know I saved it to the hard drive to show your children when they are older.”
Gotta love that Quaker sense of humor.
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