Recently, I was telling some friends about my attempts to write a book. A real book with chapters and everything. The problem is that for the past nine years I have become accustomed to writing a weekly column of 750 words, and 750 words does not a chapter make. Back in the beginning, I churned out sixteen hundred word stories, but the editor quickly gave me some sound advice-“It’s okay to leave some things to the reader’s imagination.”
In other words, “Nobody wants to hear you ramble on for two pages, so let’s try to condense this to an actual column instead of five.”
I took the advice to heart, and over time I trained myself to eliminate unnecessary details and still get the gist of the story across. I said to my friends, “Give me any subject and I can expound on it for 750 words, but no more.” My friend asked, “Even nuclear fission?”
“Absolutely!” I replied.
And now, I have a point to prove. So, if you’ll excuse me for just a moment, I’m going to Google “nuclear fission.” I’ll be right back….
……okay, I’m back.
I read Wikipedia’s first five paragraphs on nuclear fission. Then I read it again, hoping to understand some of the words. The second time through, I stopped to see how many paragraphs were left. There were a total of fifty-three paragraphs on nuclear fission. Seriously? Who has time to read all of that, let alone understand it? I bet the guy (yes, I’m making a gender assumption here) who wrote it fancies himself to be highly intelligent. I mean, how many people do you know who could write fifty-three paragraphs on nuclear fission? But if the dude was really smart, he’d know how to condense all of that info into 750 words and keep his audience entertained. Just sayin’.
Okay, so in my vast Google research I did hit on a few words and phrases that I recognized. “Nucleus of an atom”-I remember drawing an atom in elementary school, and labeling the parts. Proton, neutron, and electron. I also remember that splitting an atom can cause a lot of destruction. Let’s see, what is that? About thirty-two words?
I also recognized the term, “Gamma rays.” I don’t know exactly what they are, but it seems they were fairly significant to Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. And maybe I heard them referred to on Star Trek. I don’t remember exactly.
Actually, come to think of it, maybe Gamma Rays was the sorority my mom belonged to at ISU.
The word “isotopes” jumped out at me. Not because I’m familiar with it, but because it’s rather fun to say. I SO TOPES!
Criminy. Two-hundred-ninety words to go.
Okay, I noticed the term, “cluster decay” because it reminded me of that time my mother-in-law said she was going to the neighbor’s house for “Quaker clusters.” I thought she meant she was going to eat a yummy treat made of oatmeal, but actually it was a social gathering with other members of the church. Their church is The Society of Friends, more commonly known as…Quakers.
This is similar to last week, when I was anxiously awaiting hubby’s arrival home from an extended business trip. While walking through the grocery store, I heard an advertisement encouraging me to, “Enjoy the warm embrace of hot Quaker oatmeal.” I had a big, stupid grin on my face during the rest of the shopping trip, thinking about a warm embrace from my own hot Quaker! Maybe that could have something to do with nuclear fission.
Quoting from Wikipedia, “Nuclear fission produces energy for nuclear power and to drive the explosion of nuclear weapons.” Okay, now that is something I can talk about. I know about nuclear power because I grew up near the TVA nuclear power plant, and it was creepy! I especially hated being able to see those nuclear towers in the background of what would otherwise be perfect pictures of beautiful scenery. Oh, and I think one of my dad’s friends worked there. So, yeah, I know all about nuclear power.
And there is the topic of nuclear weapons. I remember lying awake at night, wondering when the Russians would use their nuclear weapons on us. That was some scary stuff.
Really, there is so much more I could say about nuclear fission, and I hate to disappoint you, but I’m afraid I’ve reached my word limit.
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