Politically Incorrect

As I started going over the list of jokes that I would like to share with you I realized that many of them could be deemed politically incorrect. Is it okay to publicly tell jokes like:

Q: What did the crossed-eyed teacher say?

A: I can’t control my pupils!

I think that joke is hilarious, and it in no way diminishes the respect I have for teachers or cross-eyed people. But I am afraid that by printing it I will get emails from the Association for the Preservation of the Dignity of the Eyeball Stability Challenged.

Now, as a former peroxide blonde, I do feel as though I have the freedom to tell all the blonde jokes I want. Here is my personal favorite:

Q: What do you call a Blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant!

Or how about this one: A network executive was interviewing a young blonde. He asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”

The blonde replied, “The living one.”

Truthfully, I get kind of tired of always having to be politically correct. I prefer to call ’em like I see ’em.  For example, I’m fat and so is half the population. But I can’t say fat. I have to say obese or maybe “Size 10 Challenged.”  I don’t mind if someone wants to tell me I’m fat, it’s not exactly a secret.  At one time I weighed 200 pounds and currently I am down to a mere 165.  And I’m short too. Only 5’4″. I am probably going down in history as the first woman to ever publish her true weight, but I just don’t see the point in being sensitive about it.

Sometimes political correctness gets really out of hand. Here is a partial list of words that have been banned from California text books:

Founding Fathers, (banned as sexist; replace with ‘the founders’ or ‘the framers’)
Fraternize (banned as sexist)
God (banned)
Heiress (banned as sexist; replace with ‘heir’)
Hell (banned; replace with ‘heck’ or ‘darn’)
Heroine (banned as sexist; replace with ‘hero’)
Huts (banned as ethnocentric; replace with ‘small houses’)
Insane (banned as offensive; replace with ‘person who has an emotional disorder or psychiatric illness’)
Inspirational (banned as patronizing when referring to a person with disabilities)
Jungle (banned; replace with ‘rain forest’)
Lame (banned as offensive; replace with ‘walks with a cane’)
Limping along (banned as handicapism)
Little person (banned as offensive; replace with ‘person of small stature’) Wasn’t “little person” the original replacement for “midget?”
Lumberjack (banned as sexist; replace with ‘woodcutter’)

It’s like kids today aren’t allowed to know that there is a difference between men and women. How many female woodcutters are there anyway, and with whom do they fraternize?  Whoever made up this list should be sent to a jungle to live in a hut with a lumberjack, a little person and a lame heiress. The entire situation is an offense to our Founding Fathers.

And what is the deal with not being able to use “inspirational” when referring to a handicapped person? If seeing all that Joni Eareckson Tada has accomplished, in spite of being a quadriplegic, doesn’t inspire me to get off my healthy duff and do something worthwhile, then nothing will!  She is truly a heroine!

Of course ‘God’ is banned, and is not being replaced with any other descriptive name.  For what it is worth, the board also banned the word ‘devil’ from all textbooks. I guess if you take away God, you don’t need to mention the devil. Does it bother you when the people in charge try to do away with your heritage and beliefs because it might offend someone of a different religion?

Along those lines, here’s a lovely little tidbit from a British news source: “Schools across Britain have been ordered by local authorities to abandon the ancient tradition of serving hot cross buns at Easter so as not to offend children of non-Christian faiths. Some councils are refusing to hand out the traditional treats because they fear that the symbol of the cross will spark complaints from Jewish, Hindu and Muslim pupils or their families.”

Surely, I am not the only one to see the absurdity in this situation. The whole trend is just insane!  Perhaps we should never use the word “cross.” I am not “cross” because it might offend certain religions, and I am not “mad” because it might offend the psychiatrically ill. I guess I’m just annoyed.

I wonder if anyone finds it offensive that Indiana is known as the Crossroads of America.

The fact of the matter is my entire life is politically incorrect. I prefer to be in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.  I like that my husband is the authority in our home and I am thankful that men run the country.  I prefer to be called Mrs. as opposed to Ms., I homeschool my kids, raise animals for food, and shave only during the summer months. (Okay, that last part really leans more toward the Birkenstock, P.C. crowd)  I only recycle when it’s convenient, I have my doubts about global warming, and I haven’t hugged any trees lately. In fact, I inadvertently uprooted two with my lawn tractor this week.

What it boils down to is this, you can use all the correct terminology but that doesn’t change the heart. If your attitude is inappropriate are you really showing true consideration for others?

I’m reminded of a few years ago when my son came running through the kitchen, fingers positioned like a gun, yelling, “I’m playing cowboys and Native Americans!”

I found it humorous that PBS had done its job well enough to teach him the politically correct term for Indian, but had neglected to impress on him that no matter what you call them it’s not okay to kill them or steal their land.

Perhaps instead of political correctness we should just teach etiquette. If everyone followed rules of behavior that are standard in polite society, no one else would be offended. Children would not point their fingers and whisper about someone looking “different,” and people could carry on their religious beliefs without fear of retaliation.

We are sorely lacking in good ol’ common sense manners.  We need to realize that the beauty of the world lies in the fact that we are unique individuals. I don’t want to erase my heritage and you shouldn’t have to erase yours. And couldn’t we agree together not to get our panties in a wad every time someone refuses to practice common courtesy? That way they wouldn’t have to make new laws and rules to keep us from being offended by one another. And those poor British kids could eat all the hot cross buns their little hearts desire.