Sound Advice

Sometimes you have to be blunt.  Call it a kick in the pants, wake-up call, intervention or whatever you wish, but there are times when you simply can’t let someone continue in their current state of stupidity.   Obviously, it is better if the advice you give has been solicited, but I don’t understand when someone asks for an opinion and the person they are asking simply tells them whatever sounds the most pleasant.

If I walked into the room wearing baggy white pants, hubby’s immediate thought would be, “Wow!  Her butt is huge!”  Chances are, I already suspect this because one of the main fashion points my mother impressed upon me as a teenager is that white makes you look bigger.   But maybe I’m hoping she was wrong, so I ask hubby,  “Do these humongous white pants make my butt look big?”

If he says yes, I will change.  But if he says no, simply because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, then I am left thinking I look pretty good and will go around all day not realizing that everyone else is thinking, “Dang!  Her butt is massive!”

When I ask for advice or an opinion, I truly want honesty.  I don’t want to be coddled and I won’t coddle anyone else.  So, if you don’t want the truth as I see it, don’t ask.  Hubby says that most people really don’t want to know the truth about themselves.  He is probably right.   I know a few folks who prefer to go through life in an oblivious little bubble that the truth can’t penetrate.  But the people I admire more are those who are not only straight shooters, but genuinely want to learn from my opinions and thoughts.  They don’t get their panties in a wad because we disagree or because I’ve pointed them in a direction that was different than what they expected.

I have a handful of people in my life that expect and accept my blunt honesty.  I try not to be mean about it, but when they ask my opinion, they will get my exact thoughts.   Those people also know that they can be tough on me.   If I’m out of line, they can call me on it and I will step back and consider the validity of their position.  It might not feel good, but it helps me become a better person.

I have been challenged on everything from how I raise my children to my use of a tanning bed.  They say in every criticism there is a grain of truth.  So, I look for that tid-bit and evaluate whether or not it is something that needs to be changed.  I have grown as a mother, wife, friend, and even a pet owner because I try to listen instead of getting all riled up about it.

So, here are a few items of unsolicited advice.  Sort out what applies to you and let the rest fall by the wayside.

1.  Just because Walmart is open all night does not mean that you should go in the middle of the night.  If you are half-naked, or high on some stupid mind altering substance, stay home.
   The store will still be open when you sober up and find your clothes.
2. If you leave your house ten minutes before an appointment, and it is a twenty-minute drive, calm down and accept the fact that you screwed up.  Quit driving like a maniac and putting everyone else in danger just because you can’t tell time.
3. If your child has had a fever in the past 24 hours, keep them home!  This means that if they had a fever at 3:00 yesterday afternoon, they should not be eating lunch at the local buffet today.
4. If you are going to tattoo the inside of your ears, do not use green ink.  It looks like mold.
5. If you work on any level of Customer Service at any establishment, please, look up the word service before your next shift.
6. If your child insists on walking up the slide at the park, don’t get mad when another mom encourages her child to go ahead and slide down, knocking the little sucker flat on his butt.
7. If you don’t like your spouse, figure out what changes need to be made in your own life before you start trying to change him or her.  Fix yourself and you might be surprised at how it ends up changing the person who has to live with you.
8. Personal space, people!  Learn about it!  Practice it!  Stay out of my row at the movie theater when we are the only two people there!
9. Don’t gossip.  If it’s not your story to tell, keep your mouth shut.  Nobody likes a Nellie Olsen.
10. And last–if you are the least bit overweight you should not be wearing skinny jeans, leggings, or anything white.  It makes your bottom look bigger, and not in a “bootylicious” sort of way.  But if you are shopping at Wal-mart in the middle of the night, that’s okay.  At least your fat butt will be covered.