This is the season to remind ourselves of all we have for which to be thankful. I am a generally grateful person, although there are times when I take stuff for granted, or forget to pause and really reflect on the blessings in my life. Taking time not only to “stop and smell the roses,” but to reflect on how fortunate we are to have roses to sniff, gives us a much needed mental break from the hustle and bustle of day to day life
Thankfulness is also a cure for worry. I used to have a little issue that caused major worry. I worried so much that it kept me from functioning properly. I would lose hours of time when nothing was accomplished because I was completely paralyzed by fear. The worry prevented me from enjoying all the wonderful things that life has to offer. It also kept me from being the truly creative and loving mommy and wife that I desired to be.
I obsessed and worked hard to keep the thing I feared most from actually happening. There was never a moment that it wasn’t in my head, causing anxiety, depression, and occasionally snatching away my very breath.
Over the years, I spiraled so far down that I didn’t think I would ever truly be able to relax and simply enjoy life. Antidepressants were only a temporary solution, and they made my tongue feel fuzzy, so I gave them up. Eventually, everything came to a head, and I knew I had to get help. I began attending weekly counseling sessions to seek relief from the worry and fear that had taken over my brain, and held me in captivity for so long.
The key to working my way back up from the bottom of my downward spiral was cultivating an attitude of thanksgiving. You can train your brain to think what you want it to think, and I had spent many hours training it to worry and fear. At first, I had to say the correct thoughts out loud. Worry would crash in, and I would practically shout any thankful thought that popped into my head. “Thank God I have food to put on the table for my children tonight!” Or “I am so thankful that I have this lovely pink shirt to wear today.”
Exercise also helped my mental state, so I started walking twenty minutes a day at the park. I decided ahead of time what I would think about, and I refused to let my brain focus on anything else. People probably thought I was crazy, talking out loud as I walked. Most of the time, I did a thankful list. This continues to be one of my favorite mental exercises. I spend a full twenty minutes listing things for which I am thankful. Once I get started, the thankful thoughts start to snowball and there is no room for worry. The thoughts build, and you realize you are thankful for things you never even thought about before. I remember saying out loud, “I’m really thankful my mom always dressed nice, even though we were poor, because I was never embarrassed for my friends to see her.”
The real test is finding things to be thankful for in the situations where you would typically worry, but it can be done. And because I am a person who prays, I would send those thoughts up to God instead of my normal, “Please, God, don’t let this terrible thing happen!”
It took time and effort. Real, genuine effort. Training your brain is hard work. You can’t keep thoughts from popping into your head, but you have all the control over what you do with them once they are there. We all know how to immediately chase away thoughts that are perverse to our nature. For example, if you have the thought to steal something while you are in the store, most likely you discard the thought immediately and won’t dwell on it. Or it might give you a silly grin when you have a flickering thought of whacking someone upside the head when they do something stupid; but you probably don’t linger on the thought for long, because you have no intention of actually doing it.
So, we definitely have the power to change and control our thought life, we just have to make the decision to do it. And in my experience, thankfulness is the very best way to go. Today, I recognize worry for what it is. A stealer of my joy. Now, I know to immediately combat it with thoughts of thankfulness. And these days, I can do it more quietly. I almost never have to shout thankful thoughts at the roses I’ve stopped to smell.
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