Just a few minutes ago, I stood on a street corner of Berlin and waited patiently for the crosswalk signal to turn green. There was no traffic in sight, and I could have crossed thrice in that amount of time, but I continued to wait. It was hard for me because I’ve never been much of a rule follower. As a youngster, I had quite a knack for figuring out how to bend and twist the rules in order to accommodate my own desires. And some rules just beg to be broken.
The summer I was fourteen, I spent two weeks at my uncle’s home in Panama City Beach, Florida. It was a glorious time, filled with sunshine, sand, and shorts. The only problem was that I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts. My wardrobe consisted solely of modest dresses and long culottes, neither of which were appropriate beach attire. So, when my aunt handed me a pair of khaki shorts and a tank top, I only hesitated briefly before shedding my cumbersome clothing. It was liberating and wonderful, and I didn’t think twice about it until I got home and had to answer to my parents. There was a price to pay, but nearly thirty years later, I’m still saying it was worth it.
But in Berlin, things are different. Here when I break a rule, I get scolded in German. If my mother had learned a few German words, her reprimands would not have fallen on deaf ears. She could nag at me all day long in English, and I’d respond with a shoulder shrug, but a good German scolding reduces me to tears.
I never knew you are supposed to wait for a signal even if the streets are completely clear of traffic. The first time I crossed without waiting, I heard some grumbling but didn’t realize it was directed at me. But the crowd caught up with me at the next corner, and when I set my foot out into the empty street, I got an earful! I must have looked bewildered by all the angry German words flying my direction, because one woman finally called out in English, “Do not cross before the signal! It is a bad example to the children!”
I was torn. Part of me was humiliated at being called out as an ignorant tourist. The other part of me wanted to yell back defiantly, “Are you kidding me? Teach the children to look both ways before they cross!”
Every street corner became a test for me. Would I obey the signal, or would I decide for myself when it was safe to cross? Sometimes, if it was late and I was alone, I would cross every corner before the signal changed because I’m rebellious like that. During the day, when my children were with me, I did my best to wait unless it just seemed utterly ridiculous. Scores of people stood on the corners and refused to move even if the nearest car was a half mile away. I wondered if they realized that they were capable of making this decision for themselves.
One afternoon I was dragging my exhausted, whiny children back to our apartment. The day had been long and all of us were wearily trudging down the street. As we stood on the crowded corner, I let go of my daughter’s hand just long enough to shift the weight of my bags. It was then that some lowbrow tourist decided to cross before the signal changed. Before I knew what was happening, daughter had followed him into the street, and into the path of an oncoming car.
The vehicle swerved just as I grabbed my little girl and pulled her safely back to the curb. I could see the bewildered look in her face as she explained, “That guy went, so I thought the light changed to green!”
We have made many trips to Berlin since that day, and I have never crossed even the quietest of streets without waiting for the signal. When our teenaged son and his friend started to cross, I scolded them in harsh English. They felt ridiculous waiting on the corner when there wasn’t a car in sight, but they stayed put. “You can’t cross before the signal,” I explained. “It’s a bad example for the children.”
Sometimes, I feel a little silly just standing there, but I finally learned that some rules should be adhered to even if they seem ridiculous. And if everyone else is following a silly rule, you will look much smarter if you follow it too. I just really hope the Germans never decide it’s inappropriate to wear shorts to the beach!
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