“Your articles are so cream-puff. Does a substantial thought ever flit through that head of yours?” “I shan’t subject myself to your unladylike writings any longer! You have offended my delicate sensibilities by using the word poop!” “Why do you hate puppies and small children?” It might surprise you that in the twelve years I have been writing a weekly… View Post

On occasion, I will hear some freakish woman declare that she doesn’t like chocolate!! I can’t comprehend this odd phenomenon, and in fact, I’m not entirely sure those women are human. The next time I hear one utter the words, “I don’t care for chocolate,” I’m going to tackle her to the ground and rip her face off to reveal… View Post

Some time ago, I received a phone call from a lady named Shannon. She’d found my vehicle registration lying in her front yard, six miles from my house. Earlier in the day, I had spilled my purse in a friend’s front yard, and papers flew everywhere. Apparently, I didn’t track them all down. As I hung up the phone hubby… View Post

My family regularly gives me a hard time because my knowledge of slang is somewhat limited. Occasionally, I will pick up what the kids are saying, and inadvertently incorporate it into my own vocabulary. For example, the other day I said to hubby, “Imma need you to stop leavin’ your socks on the floor.” In this instance, I correctly used… View Post

Hubby regularly reminds me, “You are your father’s daughter!”   It seems I have inherited my dad’s knack for getting injured in the most innocent of circumstances.  He will stop by for a visit, and one of the kids will say something like, “Grandpa! Why is there a huge, gaping hole in your head?” His response is always nonchalant.  “Oh, it’s… View Post